


Breaking from His Shadow

by sorayume



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, BAMF Darth Vader, F/M, Force-Sensitive Leia Organa, Luke Skywalker Needs A Hug, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, POV Darth Vader, POV Leia Organa, POV Luke Skywalker, Past Biggs Darklighter/Luke Skywalker, Queer Themes, Romance, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:14:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27004138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorayume/pseuds/sorayume
Summary: Luke and Leia are both struggling with the aftermath of Yavin 4, things quickly devolve into an Alternate Universe where Luke is gay and Vader gets involved in his life far too soon. Leia has to be the adult for everyone, like always.
Relationships: Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Luke Skywalker & Darth Vader
Comments: 31
Kudos: 65





	1. Half Way Home

As the clapping faded away in the great hall on Yavin 4, Leia turned and walked through the back door of the ceremonial chamber and sighed in relief. She felt sticky with sweat from the humidity – when she had put on the sleek silk dress, she had really not taken into account that all those people would make the normally breezy hall feel so stuffy. She walked quickly towards the lift to the apex of the Pyramid and the Observation tower. Her dress dragged on the dirt in the hallways of the former temple turned Rebel Base. It would stain the white fabric – the dust here was red from the oxidation of the iron in the quickly built base. 

It was an eternal ticking time bomb of when the Empire would catch up to any large cell or base they formed. The technicians who had been put in charge of building the hallways here had not taken into account the humidity. Of course they had not. They were all from nice temperate areas of their worlds, and were too young to have finished their schooling when they ran away to the Rebellion. 

Leia would need to find a new dress to wear for the next formal occasion. But where would she find such a dress? The Rebel Alliance didn’t have a stock of suitable clothing, and her entire wardrobe was lost. She stopped herself from going further down the rabbit hole of what had been lost. She could not afford to open that vault. The Death Star might be gone, and she might have had a ceremony to cheer up the soldiers after such loss in the battle mere hours before, but there was no way the Empire would not be sending troops their way as soon as they could get a fleet out in this quadrant. It was time to take a short rest so she could be emotionally prepared for the move from this base to wherever General Dodonna felt they should go next. 

She was lost in her thoughts enough that she didn’t hear the footsteps behind her.

“Leia!” 

At the enthusiastic voice, Leia turned away from the window to see Luke Skywalker standing behind her. His ceremonial garb looked out of place on his farmboy features. He truly needed a haircut, the fringe of his shaggy blond hair hanging over his eyes and curling around his ears. Leia forced her best diplomatic smile. 

“Luke. Did you follow me up here?” 

Luke’s hands slipped to his oversized, bright yellow jacket’s sleeves, pulling at the material nervously. 

“Leia, I… thank you. Thank you for letting me join your Rebellion.” 

Leia suppressed an exasperated sigh.

“Luke,” she said, infusing as much patience as she could muster into the words. “It’s not  _ my _ rebellion, it’s our rebellion. It belongs to every single person who stands up against the injustices of the Empire, who wishes to see freedom and democracy return. The Empire has taken everything from us. My home planet of Alderaan. My father. Your aunt and uncle. Our friends, who fought beside us. No one is letting you join the Rebellion, you  _ are _ the Rebellion, and the Empire will be looking for you.” 

Luke seemed taken aback by her words and his blue eyes looked into hers, depths of emotion so obviously displayed in them. Leia didn’t know much about his life other than that he said the Empire killed his family, but he seemed very sheltered. She had already spent a good amount of time educating Luke about oppression in the galaxy that she had assumed everyone was aware of, so his naïveté was getting a little wearisome. 

“Why would they be looking for me? How would they even know who I am?” 

Luke’s lower lip quivered a bit, fingers still toying with the ends of that obnoxiously bright jacket. Leia just looked at him incredulously. 

“Luke, you’re a Rebel hero now. You blew up the Death Star! You  _ will _ be seen as a massive threat to the Empire. They will put a bounty on your head multiplied by the number of Imperials you killed with that shot. But we will do everything in our power to keep from them discovering your identity.”

As Leia spoke, she was frustrated to almost physically feel the vast array of emotions he was projecting at her. No matter how hard she tried to put her emotional barriers up, they didn’t seem to keep his outbursts of feelings from penetrating her mind. She had not felt these sorts of feelings since her mother had taught her to imagine a bubble around her and pretend everyone’s thoughts were on the outside of it. It had been many years since she had felt the emotions of others so strongly – with one exception. Leia felt a slight itch on her right arm as the memory resurfaced. 

_ She had felt his rage, his frustration at her for not complying to his wishes. The drugs had kept her from _ … 

Leia shook that feeling away very quickly. But somehow, Luke seemed to sense  _ her  _ emotions in that moment, and a hand went to her bare forearm as he gently touched her, turning it over. He gasped softly as this revealed a myriad of marks from the needles that had been forced into her, just visible under her creamy skin. Leia winced and drew her arm away, pulling her cloak around her and shivering. She literally forced the thought from her mind, imagining it in its own bubble, imagining kicking it through the window and down the temple’s steep slope. 

“Leia. I…” 

Leia shook her head. “Please, don’t. I don’t need your pity, Luke. These things are just a part of being in the Rebellion. We’re soldiers. You should go and rest, you’re scheduled to fly patrol at 0200 tomorrow morning.” 

Leia turned on her heel and walked towards the lift. 

“Take the next one, please. I need to make plans and need the quiet to think,” she said after she stepped inside. 

Luke continued to stare right at her from where they had stood together, his brow creased in the most frustratingly empathetic way. As the doors to the lift closed behind her, Leia sighed in relief. She wasn’t used to feeling so vulnerable, usually kept up a more serene and confident facade. She needed to get her mind out of the past and figure out what she needed to do for their future, and it bothered her how this boy seemed to see through her so easily. For now, though, there was much work to be done. She hoped that Luke was up to the task.

* * *

Vader’s eyes flashed open in his helmet. Piercing pain radiated through his skull from his ship being damaged in battle – but he was used to pain. He could find power in it. He let his mind focus on the dull throb of dehydration, the ache of his old scars, the nausea from the rapidly spinning ship. Let those feelings pulse as he funneled them into rage and reached out to let it flow around his TIE fighter, slowing its spin until it was gently drifting in the black vacuum of space. He would not be finding his end here today. 

The gas giant Yavin was far below him, toxic clouds swirling and churning. Their chaos was unpredictable and uncontrollable in a way that was almost soothing to him. They were not a hindrance to him like other unpredictable things were. Like the battle he had lost control of. His master was not going to be pleased that his ultimate weapon had been destroyed by a group of disorganized young Rebels. The Emperor had also rather liked his puppet Moff Tarkin, and he would be equally angry at his loss. Vader felt no sorrow, however – Tarkin had been a small minded fool who held the Empire back with his lack of belief in the Force.

The Force. Vader felt his hatred swelling ever stronger in him as he recalled that there had been a Force-sensitive flying that X-Wing. He had felt the tendrils of his essence seeking out and mixing with those around him to achieve that fateful shot that had destroyed the Death Star. It would have been impossible without the Force, required too much precision. Who could it have been? His inquisitors had eliminated the last remnants of Force sensitives, hadn’t they? 

Even so, Vader had just seen that miserable traitorous ghost from his past. Obi-Wan. The man who had stolen his wife from him, turned her against him, and caused him to feel such rage that he had murdered her. It was all his fault she and his son had died. He would never forgive that traitor, who had not even given him the satisfaction of facing his former master in a duel to the death. He had taken the coward’s way and become one with the Force, leaving no fulfillment. Vader had wanted to see the pain in Obi-Wan’s eyes as his lightsaber penetrated his flesh, had wanted to shear off all of his limbs, to have him experience the same pain. But he had not been allowed the satisfaction.

As Vader thought these dark thoughts, he suddenly was hit by an unfamiliar burst of emotion – anger, frustration, dark feelings bursting through the Force from far away. It felt like a lightsaber piercing through his defenses, which were down because he had been roasting in his anger, floating in space alone. They were a delightful treat, a taste of pure frustration and arrogance that ignited his soul’s decrepit core, yet as soon as they had started to pierce him they suddenly stopped, like a spout of water being shut off. Like a blast door slamming closed. 

Who had such powerful Force abilities to feel such delicious and dark feelings? They were not his master, nor were they any inquisitor that he knew. What if…  _ the Force user _ . The one in the X-wing – were they of such power as to be holding such darkness in their heart? If so, they would be all too easy to turn to the Dark Side. With their power alongside Vader’s own, perhaps they could help him topple his Master. He could then destroy them as well, and rule the galaxy with a just and orderly hand. A smirk formed behind Vader’s mask as he reached out with his feelings in that direction. 

The Force signature was faint, but he could feel that presence somewhere far away, a gleam of stomach-roiling hope in the distance. The game was afoot. Vader would have them. He grabbed his long distance comm and called the Executor. His Star Destroyer was much closer than the rebels knew, a reckoning that would be descending upon their little cell of broken down ships much sooner than they expected. 

* * *

Luke was stunned by Leia’s behavior toward him, so much colder than he had previously experienced in their time together. He wasn’t certain what he had said or done wrong, needed time to reflect on her words. Had he truly been so wrong to consider it her Rebellion? He was overwhelmed, trying to absorb the enormity of the cause that he had joined. He had always wanted to fight, wanted glory, but he was not used to this level of attention or scrutiny. They would be looking for him, Leia had said. And those scars on her forearms…

Luke shivered. Not for the first time since the battle’s aftermath, he wished that Biggs was here. He had not gotten a true moment alone with him before… before he was gone. Forever. Just another casualty of the war they all fought in.

Biggs had hugged him tightly as they were getting into their X-wings to face what they had both known could be their deaths, but naively believed they would somehow prevail. There had not been time for stolen kisses or even intimate looks. 

But the final words Biggs had spoken in his ear during that last embrace rang in Luke’s mind 

“I told you that you’d be my flyboy, Skywalker,” Biggs had growled in his ear just before he let go, knowing the shiver that would run down Luke’s spine. With a wink, he turned and jogged to his own ship. That was the last moment that Luke ever saw him. Ever held him in his arms.

Luke was no one’s flyboy, now. A wanted criminal with no old friends or family left in the galaxy, fighting a war for… for what? Peace? He had known peace, once. Life on Tatooine was not comfortable, it wasn’t exciting, but it was peaceful for the most part. All of that was gone, now. He would never forgive the Empire for taking his aunt, his uncle, his friend and mentor Obi-Wan, his parents and now even Biggs from him. This was personal now, and maybe that’s what Leia had meant. Each of these rebels had it personally out for the Empire. 

Luke tried to feel angry, but all he really felt was sorrow. He had destroyed the Death Star, sure. That was the right thing to do, wasn’t it? They were going to kill the princess, and it was every farm boy’s dream to be a hero. 

He didn’t  _ feel _ like a hero. When he had blown up the Death Star, there had been a physical explosion, but that didn’t compare to the answering explosion of psychic pain through the Force. It had been all around him, even as he had been full of adrenaline and bittersweet joy at the successful mission. It had washed through him. He had for an instant felt all those lives right there, right next to him flicker and disappear. It was almost the exact same feeling Obi-Wan had described on the Millennium Falcon, when Leia’s home planet had been destroyed. 

In taking so many lives, was he really any better than them? Leia had thrown him off with her harsh angry waves of sorrow and anger for that moment. He had felt her then, felt her anger and sorrow as if they were his own. He tried to show her he cared and she had pushed him away. His morose feelings were like vines of regret, lacing into his soul as he stared out over Yavin 4. They weighed him down, and with them he felt a darkness touch him. Like a shadow over his soul. It was brief yet present.

Shaking his head, Luke went to the lift, hugging the yellow jacket he would never take off again, the one Biggs had saved up for three seasons to have specially made for him and the only thing of his that Luke had left. It was his memento of his first love and no one could take that away from him. He bounced impatiently at the lift, then decided that Leia was certainly long gone by now. He really did need to get some sleep before his duty – 0200 would come upon him far too soon. Luke pushed the button to the lift and disappeared into the tunnels of the pyramid below, where his bunk awaited him.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the amazing @Strawberry_Champagne for being my Beta tester and Editor.
> 
> This fanfic has a lot to go and is just getting started and I thank you for reading it, yes you!
> 
> It’s my first venture into longer more epic fanfics, rather than my normal little slices one offs.  
> A lot of thanks to my friends on the Star Wars Creatives Discord, who unwittingly gave me the courage to put my work out there.
> 
> The Whump and Angst is coming so buckle in ;)


	2. Midnight Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke goes on his first Patrol  
> Leia meets a new friend  
> Sleep exhaustion is rude

R2 was out of commission still from the battle of Yavin, and Luke found flying without them far less intuitive. The R4 unit he had been assigned was fine, it did its duty. But Luke found himself missing the sarcastic chatter of R2-D2. He had only known the droid a few days, but he felt a strong connection to them already. Luke had been instructed that this was a routine flight to keep an eye out for Imperials in the Sector, basic scouting. Normally, this flight would be done in pairs, and he’d have another Rebel like Wedge flying beside him. But their numbers were greatly diminished since their do-or-die battle a few days before, making more solo flights necessary for lower risk outings.

Luke hated to admit it, but he barely knew how to fly an X-wing. The simulator had not prepared him for flying a vessel that was worn from battle, showing its age and not yet fully repaired. During the battle, R2-D2 had done far more work than he had realized, executing commands in the background that Luke hadn’t even been aware of. He imagined normal training would have told him, for example, what that red blinking light in his peripheral vision meant. Maybe he would have learned how to fix that constant rightward drift, know how to make some automatic adjustments to fix it mid-flight.

The R4 Luke had now could fix these minor issues when he asked, but seemed to forget to continue maintaining the fixes after a while. He wondered if this was common for R4s, or if this one was faulty. Hopefully the droid-techs were right and R2-D2 would be up and running soon. For now, Luke would use this lonely flight around Yavin to practice his flying, to get used to space and using the Force to feel around him with purpose.

The X-wing’s cockpit didn’t feel like home yet. Luke missed the way his Hopper had allowed a fresh breeze to blast his face through its vents as it zipped through Beggar’s Canyon. In stark contrast, space was so cold and vast. Sometimes when Luke looked out the windows to the black beyond he felt a bit dizzy. Space travel had been a normal part of society for so long that he couldn’t imagine a life without it, and at times he took it for granted. Luke had never been in space before the Millennium Falcon had shot its way out of Mos Eisley, but the possibility had always been there, tantalizing him, featuring heavily in his wildest dreams. He always knew that Tatooine wasn’t all there was, that there so much more than moisture vaporators and an endless stretch of sand. He could feel it in his heart of hearts, like a promise. 

* * *

Vader surveyed the twisted, smoking wreck of his TIE fighter with dismay. It would need far more maintenance to be space-worthy than he had originally expected. Although he relished the gifts that the Dark Side bestowed, there were still a few things he regretted about it, and the lack of synchronicity with his natural mechanical aptitude was one such thing. Anger clouded his judgement, filling him with impatience at this set-back.

Though Yavin’s smallest moon had a breathable atmosphere for most humanoids, there was no reason for anyone to visit this hunk-of-junk rock. No water. No vegetation. Any minerals worth taking seemed to be long-removed from its surface, and the only signs of life that remained were the remnants of mining equipment so incredibly decrepit and broken they had to be pre-hyperspace ways. 

Vader had gotten in contact with his personal Star Destroyer, which would be arriving to transport the ship and himself off the moon in a few hours. He was sitting down to meditate while he waited when he felt it. A flash of the Force from above. A tendril of light, soft and soothing like the stroke of a lover’s hand reaching out and brushing him with what felt like no purpose beyond letting him know that it existed. He reached out with the Force himself, following the tendril in loops and dots back to its source. The closer his feelings got to it, the stronger it was. So incredibly strong and so unfocused.  _ The pilot _ . Vader rose to his feet quickly, his mind spinning a plan to capture this rogue Force-user and bring him to justice - not only for the destruction of his master’s Death Star, but also for being a part of stranding him on this miserable,  _ sandy _ moon.

* * *

Luke was reaching out with the Force as he approached the only moon he had been told to investigate during his scouting. He allowed the Force to stretch out, imagining it like wires connecting to the energies of other beings. As he expanded his awareness toward the moon, a shiver of fear suddenly ran through him. He was not sure what this feeling was. Somehow, he thought he had felt it before but… when? It made him feel tired. Like it was draining all joy and positive energy out of him. 

Luke blinked a few times and yawned. Leia had told him to rest before this mission, but he had not slept very much. He and the boys had sat with some caf on the temple’s highest level, gazing up at the stars and sharing stories of the pilots that had passed away in the run on the Death Star. 

Each story about Biggs had brought Luke closer to tears. He missed the older boy with all his heart, had never felt so connected to and cherished by another person. Luke loved to hear the stories from people who had known Biggs since he had joined the Rebellion, but it also reminded him of all the time he had lost after Biggs had left Tatooine for the Academy, time they would now never get back. Blinking away his exhaustion and sorrow, Luke hugged his yellow jacket closer to him over his flight suit. 

There was an increasing sensation of icy cold as Luke’s fighter approached the moon. It lapped against him like a freezing gust of night air on Tatooine when the suns were down. He relaxed a moment, trying to bring peace to his shivering body, when he realized what he was feeling. Something dark, malicious… angry, vibrating through the Force. Exhaustion crept into the edges of his mind through the darkness.

* * *

Vader sensed the youthful energy approaching Yavin’s desolate moon, reached for that star of bright light in the Force. It seared his own dark tendrils like a sun casting away the shades of night, but he knew that every light produced shadows. Vader reached for that radiant mind, its shields lowered by exhaustion. The pilot was still distant yet, but he could feel how easy it would be to enhance their fatigue and drag them into slumbering oblivion. Yes, this would be all too easy. 

Vader would interrogate this insolent young Rebel, find out how many other Force-sensitives were still existent that had somehow slipped through his grasp. The Force was far too strong in them to not have a powerful teacher. Could there still be Jedi that he had not eliminated, despite his attempts to root them out from every distant corner of the galaxy? Vader felt himself grin tightly behind his mask, darkly eager, as he sent out waves of Force energy to lull the pilot to sleep. Beckoning them to let go of the last remnants of wakefulness and embrace the inner biological need for rest that was in all organic beings. Rest. Sleep. Let go of this moment. Each tendril reached out a little further, pulsing like the rhythmic hissing of Vader’s breath.

* * *

Luke felt himself slipping even deeper into exhaustion, his focus on reaching out with the Force starting to slip. He blinked hard several times, tried to stay awake. This was an  _ important _ mission. His first solo scouting trip. He needed to prove to Leia that he belonged in the Rebellion like she said he did. People were relying on him.

But he just needed to… rest a moment. Only a little nap. Just ten minutes – R4 would be able to handle keeping him in flight for a few minutes. Yes. Just a few. 

Luke’s head lulled to the side… and he found himself back on Tatooine. The twin suns blazed above him as he surveyed their farm. Behind him, Luke could hear Aunt Beru calling out from inside the homestead.

“Luke? Luke! Come to dinner, I made your favorite stew. Luke?

* * *

Vader felt the energy above him diminish smaller into itself, and slowly begin to pulse to the rhythm of his mask. The X-wing in the atmosphere started to drift as the gravitation of the moon pulled it inexorably closer, now that it wasn’t being flown by the pilot.  _ Yes. _ It was working. Vader had never tried this method before, preferring a more physically aggressive approach. But here he was, standing on a deserted Yavin moon making a Rebel fighter pilot fall asleep at his command. 

Vader felt powerful, he felt vindicated. The dark side of the Force could reach distances unfathomable to a Jedi. His anger at the Death Star’s destruction and the pain that would cause him was directed into hatred, which only fueled him. Anakin could never have had this much control. As Lord Vader, he was truly the strongest version of himself… and he would soon have a Jedi to interrogate once more.

<

* * *

The caf machine in the kitchen of the Lars homestead would not. Stop. Beeping. Its error tones were relentless and irritating. Luke tried to fix it as Owen yelled at him for being incompetent and Beru shrank away. From past experience, Luke knew that all he needed to do was press a few buttons, and the beeping should stop. But every time he tried, it was like he was entering the wrong sequence. He  _ knew _ he was better with technology than this.

Suddenly, the world jolted. An earthquake? Luke ran outside, where a glowing blue figure appeared in the courtyard.  _ Ben! _ Why was Ben here, in his home? Old Ben had never taken interest in the Lars homestead before. 

Ben looked directly at him, speaking urgently. 

“Wake up, Luke! You must wake up.  _ Wake up, or you will die! _ ” 

Luke’s eyes snapped open. He quickly realized that the caf machine of his nightmares were actually the fighter’s proximity alarms blaring around him as he was in a crash trajectory with the moon below. He had fallen asleep at the joystick! How had he been so careless?

Luke grabbed the throttle and was starting to pull the X-wing up to correct his way out of the moon’s atmosphere when he felt a jolt. Something was pulling his fighter back down towards the surface. That was when he saw  _ him _ . His father’s murderer, standing on the rocks below with one gloved hand outstretched towards his X-wing. 

_ Darth Vader _ .

* * *

Directing evacuations was a new responsibility for Leia. She had read all the procedures, had listened in on drills for them before, but had never been on the ground when one took place. This was a Code Yellow evacuation, where essential equipment was loaded out along with personnel. Leia sighed as she looked at the datapad on her lap. Choosing what was high enough priority for the few cargo freighters was difficult, more difficult than she had expected. Everyone felt their equipment was essential and was demanding that they needed far too large of an allocation of the available space. It was 0300 and she was beyond exhausted. Truthfully, she had not slept since the trip on the Millennium Falcon to Yavin 4 over thirty hours ago. 

Leia was wearing a loose white dress tucked into a soft pair of grey pants. She had borrowed the clothing from Mon Mothma, as her only items of clothing were now soiled. Perhaps she would get that irksome smuggler Solo to give her a lift for supplies after the evacuation. She may have lost her home and all her physical possessions, but the Organas had some funds that she could still access, and had stashed away money and supplies in all of their off-world homes. 

There was the one on Eriadu - it was in the Outer Rim. Leia could offer to pay Solo handsomely for helping to transport the cargo and taking her on a needed supply run before he left her reach for good. Men like him always fell in line to the true queen of their hearts: cold hard credits. Perhaps she could even take Luke along and get him that haircut. It would help him blend in, to look less like a farm boy and more like a normal Imperial citizen.

Setting down her work, Leia pulled on a loose shawl she had been given by one of the Alliance’s cooks who happened to be a fellow Alderaanian and headed toward the hangar to see how much space the pair of smugglers could spare for cargo. 

As she was about to step through the door, Leia felt a darkness that was subtle at first like a fly landing on her arm, prickling at her mind. But then it started to pierce her. It was like someone was slicing into her, infesting her. She  _ knew  _ this feeling. It was like everything within her was being compressed, like placing a heavy brocade dress over a corset. It pushed on her, enveloped her soul. 

Leia fell to her knees and gasped for breath. The exhaustion of the entire last week seemed to hit her at once and she leaned against the bed. Sleep. Sleep sounded like the best plan. Han would be there in the morning. As her eyes grew heavy, someone appeared before her, a glowing blue image of a man with a white beard and long cloak. 

“Leia,” he said, with a rich, deep voice. “Leia, wake up. You  _ must _ not sleep.” 

Leia blinked away her exhaustion and looked at him incredulously. 

“Who are you? Is this is some holo trick? I need sleep, and this is an unacceptable intrusion on my privacy.” 

The man looked slightly frustrated yet somehow amused, one of his brows raised.

“Well, sleep you must not. My goodness, you look just like your mother.” 

At that, Leia sat up with a start. 

“You knew my mother? How have I never met you? You don’t look like anyone who attended her court.” 

The man smiled gently.

“My apologies, Princess. I am Ben Kenobi, once known as Obi-Wan Kenobi. I regret that I could not leave that infernal space station with you. My fate lay elsewhere.” 

Leia jumped up to her feet. “General Kenobi? How can you… I saw you…” 

He was obviously not here in the room with her, but perhaps being projected from elsewhere. As she scrutinized his appearance, Kenobi laughed softly. 

“My dear princess, I fear I am not here in the way you think. I have become one with the Force, which wishes for me to appear before you. You will need me more than you can imagine in these upcoming days. I also must clarify that I was not speaking of Breda – no, I meant your true mother, who was a queen herself. Her name was Padme Amidala, and she was the most amazing woman I have ever met.” 

Leia was shocked, as if a bowl of ice water had been turned over her head. She had not expected this revelation that the famed diplomat, warrior, queen and founder of the Rebellion was her true mother. Leia’s father had told her that her mother had died when she was very young, but she had never imagined this! 

As Leia opened her mouth to ask General Kenobi another question, the darkness coiling in her mind tightened. She gasped in pain and fell back on her bed as it felt like wakefulness was being pushed out of her. Above her, General Kenobi’s ghost appeared to be extremely concerned. 

“Leia, you must not sleep now, you must push through. If you sleep now, all will be lost. Gather your will. Imagine your will creating the same stimulation as a cup of caf within you. Imagine your neurons firing and your eyes releasing the weight on them, and push that feeling through your body. Imagine it exploding from your bubble, and imagine me. Imagine me being there with you with all your heart. Keep that image constant in your mind.” 

Leia let him guide her with his words. She wondered how he knew about her bubble. Could he be reading her mind with some kind of Jedi mind trick? She hoped he was not, but she did as she was told, closed her eyes and concentrated hard. She heard him speak and felt him around her. It was as if he was a warm blanket enveloping her. The image of General Kenobi appeared behind her eyelids, like a smaller dream version of himself. He was standing in a room made out of greyish plaster, painted with brown symbols she didn’t know on the roof. Directly in front of her was a caf machine with dozens of unlabeled buttons. 

She was starting to feel confused and frustrated when she heard General Kenobi’s frantic voice.

“Wake up, Luke! You must wake up.  _ Wake up, or you will die! _ ” 

She wasn’t that naïve farmboy. Why was he calling her that? The scene shifted to space, a planet barreling towards her. Leia’s eyes shot open as she realized what was going on – she was seeing through Luke Skywalkers eyes, and he was in deep trouble! 

Leia leapt up and took off running to call for an immediate emergency evacuation. General Kenobi was nowhere in sight.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again to my Editor @Strawberry_Champagne who makes my work shine like noother could.
> 
> I really appreciate all of you who have gone out of your way to Read and Comment!!  
> All of you inspire me to keep going and I am excited to share a story from my head with all of you. 
> 
> I have read fics in this genre for two decades and finally joining in, well it feel right.
> 
> So. Ever wonder what the chapter names are about?  
> Every Chapter name is based on a song that I feel represents a mood or tone or feeling in the chapter  
> This one is Midnight Thoughts by Yasumu


	3. Death is in the Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke has a blast  
> Vader plays with his saber  
> Leia has to be the adult... Again

Reeling in shock at the formidable black figure standing defiantly on the moon's surface, Luke quickly pulled up on his controls.

"Do not fall asleep in the cockpit, worthless human" crawled across his display from R4, this snarky commentary a first for the droid unit. Luke frowned, wondering how he could have allowed himself into this situation, and how the murderous Imperials had been so close yet no one had known. There were no Star Destroyers in the area. Had Vader been hiding up here since the Death Star's destruction?

The X-wing's controls were not obeying the way they should, as their engines seemed to be fighting an invisible force, almost like a tractor beam. Luke took a deep breath to center himself. His connection to the Force had almost become completely untethered in his panic, so he shifted to other skills. His mind raced, each thought short and discombobulated. Releasing the controls, he tried to let his brain fill with calculations of opportunity rather than failure. It was becoming increasingly difficult to see a positive outcome. Death seemed to whisper in his ear, bearing down on him as the invisible force bore down on his X-wing.

A plan began to crystallize. If Luke ejected here, the X-wing would crash into the planet and possibly give him time to get away. It didn't seem like the worst idea. He quickly apologized to the rude R4 unit and sent a quick encoded message back to base.

_Vader on Yavin 7, had to evacuate X-wing, send help ASAP - Red 5._

After the message was sent, he let go of his grip on the ship's throttle completely, closed his eyes tightly and breathed to ward off the tension in his chest. He pressed down on the eject button, felt more so than heard the pop of the pressure change as his cockpit flipped open and gulped in a breath of nothing as he was sprung out of the seat. R4 whirred in confusion, as he had not taken the time to instruct the droid in his plans before he, too, was popped out of his socket and thrust into space.

Luke felt the strange sensation of free falling, a feeling he used to love when he was younger. It always made him feel like nothing could hold him down, nothing could control him, but this time there was no freedom, only fear. The wind whipped past in a howl. Pulling the string on his parachute, he whispered a prayer to the Force.

"Please let this work…"

He hoped the droid bubble had gone off around R4 as well. This was his first time doing a manual evacuation from a fighter craft, and it was not an enjoyable experience, although it was certainly exhilarating. Luke's eyes welled with tears from the tension of the air pushing its way under his helmet. He could see his fighter in the distance, throttling towards the surface – but then it slowed as it was pulled down toward the black figure, and any hope for an explosion to cover his get-away disappeared as the craft landed in a tiny puff of dust.

Shifting in the harness tight around his shoulders, Luke shivered. He hoped that the Imperial commander had not noticed him yet – a hope he knew deep in his heart was in vain, but that he clung to regardless, for hope was all he truly had in this moment. He was a sitting womp rat out here, with his bright orange jumpsuit and parachute dead giveaways to his location, slowly drifting down towards the moon.

* * *

Vader felt a surge of panic through the Force as he set the X-wing down beside him. The foolish pilot had ejected upon waking! He seethed with anger that the pilot had awakened at all. Even the most seasoned Jedi often fell pray to that particular Sith mind trick - how this untrained youth had avoided it was beyond him. How was this child so strong against him? It was unacceptable.

He raged inside as he watched the neon orange parachute slowly come down toward the moon. It was of no matter – his ship would arrive within the next half hour and this monstrous little Force user would be his to interrogate. He slowly made his way towards where the parachute was just now landing.

He would enjoy this very much. It had been far too long.

* * *

Luke watched Vader walking across the sandy plateau toward him when he was moments from the ground and his heart seized into his chest. This was not good. He was by himself near a creature who had murdered Ben Kenobi with little effort. Luke could still see his old master disappearing before his eyes in the back of his mind.

Luke braced himself for impact as the ground quickly approached. He at least knew how to fall correctly, tucking into a roll as he hit the ground. The moon's surface was hard and unforgiving beneath the sand, but he had not taken into account the large parachute, which tangled his body into the cords and sheets of fabric as it billowed down around him. He swore vehemently, feeling panic rise as he struggled to break free.

In his despair, Luke wished with all his heart that Biggs could have flown with him on this mission. Bigg had always been there, and now… now he never would be again. Almost as a defense mechanism, Luke's mind wandered through the past as he struggled in the slick fabric and cords.

_They had completely lost track of time. Breathless kisses had become more urgent as the day that Biggs was leaving Tatooine approached, and they lost themselves entirely to roaming hands and gasps of pleasure._

_"Biggs, you can't go. I need you here. I want to be with you," Luke had said, pulling away from a passionate kiss to gaze into warm brown eyes._

_Biggs grinned roguishly in the way that always made Luke's stomach swoop._

_"Flyboy, if I didn't think I was your everything, I wouldn't bother kissing a big-mouthed dreamer like you."_

_He chuckled lightly, and Luke shoved at his shoulder, pretending to be offended. Another kiss. Two more, for luck. Biggs pulled away, this time regarding him more seriously._

_"But Luke, why don't just tell your Uncle you want to go to the Academy now? You're old enough, and it's all you've talked about for years. The deadline for submitting your application is tonight. We could do it together, like we've always talked about. Please. I do want you with me."_

_Luke had nothing that he could say. Biggs seemed to know this, his shoulders sagging with defeat. He sighed and leaned in to kiss Luke harder, like he really meant it. His tongue flicked along Luke's lower lip gently, asking for permission, and Luke exhaled raggedly as he allowed their kiss to deepen. Their breath intertwined, as if they were one._

_Biggs' hand slid down Luke's side, coming to rest close to his inner thigh. Luke's entire body shivered with desire as he pressed himself against as much of Biggs as he could reach._

_"We don't have to wait until my birthday, you know," Luke said softly. His wandering, soft touches grew more insistent. "You should give me something to remember you by – you don't want me to go my entire life without having you, do you? What if… what if you die or something?"_

_This last seemed inconceivable, but suddenly important, somehow._

_Biggs grabbed Luke's hands as he pulled away, pinning his hands above his head and holding them firmly._

_"Luke, no. Not yet. Not until you've reached the age of majority. Your Uncle would murder me, and I can't become a criminal before I even join the Academy"_

_Luke squirmed under Biggs, trying to press his body against his to elicit the desired effect. Biggs growled and pressed Luke's hands even harder, pulled himself away and gave him a significant look, the one that Luke knew meant that he was serious._

_Luke settled down, averting his gaze._

_"You're right. I just wish things could be different. But I can't leave Uncle Owen, Biggs. He needs me! Just a season more and I'll be there. I promise."_

_Biggs smiled and kissed him roughly, his moustache scraping against Luke's face. He pulled out of their embrace and stood, adjusting his shirt and yellow jacket._

_"Speaking of your Uncle, it's almost dark. Are you supposed to be out this late?"_

_Luke swore under his breath as he realized just how long he and Biggs had been fooling around. Uncle Owen would have his hide!_

_"Kriff! I didn't realize… you always make me lose track of time! We might as well be shooting stars or dead if I don't get home half an hour ago!"_

_Luke pulled his shirt back on and jumped to his feet, retrieving his boots._

_"Calm down, Luke. We can say you were helping me fix our condenser unit. I'm sure Owen Lars doesn't want his closest neighbors without water. Come on, let's get you home."_

_Luke grinned. Biggs always had the best excuses, saving him from every scrape he got himself into. As they jumped into Bigg's personal speeder and made their way to the Lars homestead, he knew that with Biggs at his side, he could do anything._

Luke pulled himself out of the memory just in time to remember that the fastest way out of this tangled mess was to use his father's lightsaber. He went to grab it from his belt and swore under his breath. Of course. It was with his dirtied clothing, clipped onto the stormtrooper belt he had left on his bed earlier in his rush to change. How had he forgotten something so vital? Kriff, kriff, kriff!

Luke struggled in the pile of fabric and strings, feeling utterly trapped. How far away had Vader been? Was he closing in even now? Sweat started to pour off his brow and his breath stuck in his throat as he felt a panic attack coming on.

* * *

When Leia arrived on the Falcon, she found Han slouched in the lounge half-asleep amidst a game of Dejarik, Chewie growling at him in what she could only assume was annoyance. She stood over him, infusing as much urgency as she could into her voice.

"Han, Luke is in trouble. I need your help."

Han looked up at her, raising one eyebrow lazily.

"Well, if it isn't her worshipfulness. You sure you're not here for some company tonight?"

As Han stumbled to his feet, Leia felt her frustration growing steadily. This selfish man was always playing around and saying the most inappropriate things. She hated men like this, who were full of themselves yet had no substance. If she had not needed his help, she would have stormed off.

Leia was exhausted, still ached from her trials on the Death Star. The Rebellion needed Luke. She needed him. Even if he was a naive thing with no experience, he was also the kindest boy she had ever met. Somehow the idea of losing him, so soon after meeting him, so soon after losing… everything. Well, it just wasn't something she wanted to contemplate.

Impulsively, Leia grabbed Chewie's arm and dragged him toward the cockpit.

"Come on! We have to save Luke. It's a wonder that your friend here ever makes money with how useless he is when he's like this."

The indignant growl Chewbacca produced seemed to sober Han a bit as he shouted after them.

"Fine, fine! You could have said please, princess. I was only joking!"

Leia watched apprehensively as Chewbacca flipped switches and pressed buttons in the cockpit to prep the Falcon for take-off. She had never spent much time around Wookiees, in all honesty. Though it was perhaps an insulting comparison for a sentient being, he reminded her of a pet she had long ago, and it made her feel some kinship to him. But as she had gotten to know Chewie, she had learned that he was remarkably sweet and good at hugs, in addition to being a killer shot and pilot. Leia tried not to hold it against the Wookiee too much that a layer of oil and grime always seemed to cover his fur from long hours of mechanical work.

The Falcon took off as Leia shouted emergency codes over the broadcast system, informing them that she believed the Imperials were closing in and that they needed to evacuate immediately. By the time she finished informing the Rebellion of the quick change of plans, she was astonished to find that they were already nearly entering the atmosphere of Yavin 7. It would have taken most ships a good fifteen minutes to reach the desolate moon from Yavin 4, yet in the Falcon they had done it in less than five.

As they descended, Leia felt her chest began to tighten up, a wave of nausea washing over her. It was like she was back in that cell block all over again, fighting back the crushing terror and despair. Panting and sitting back in the passenger chair, she tried to broaden her bubble to block these feelings, but all she managed to do was intensify them.

Was this Luke again? Why was he so incredibly panicked? Looking down on the moon, Leia gasped as she surmised the situation, started to feel her breath come faster and faster. She watched in horror as Darth Vader walked from a ridge with an X-Wing set on it towards an orange parachute.

"Look! That's Luke down there!"

Leia pointed out his location to Chewie, then closed her eyes and focused her breathing. This was the only way to stop this feeling of helplessness. She was free. She was safe. She was not back in a holding cell. She repeated to herself these things as her breath slowed into a steady rhythm.

* * *

Luke was so deep in panic that he didn't even realize that he was starting to breathe differently. He found his breath slowing down almost involuntarily, and at first thought his throat might be seizing up in terror, but quickly realized he was actually feeling calmer. He felt like he had a little more strength back, like he was somehow replenished and refreshed. He started unwrapping himself from the parachute, knowing otherwise he would be caught for sure. Once his breath had completely returned to normal, it somehow didn't feel so difficult to untangle.

As Luke finally freed himself and stood up, he saw the dark lord approaching. Vader stalked toward him in a determined, catlike manner, lightsaber in hand. Luke shivered in fear. He was going to die, just like his father. To the same murderous scum. He felt sadness overwhelm him at this thought. What use had he been to the world if he was just going to die, even if he had destroyed the Death Star? Pathetic. Just a moisture farmer who had been playing hero – how could he think he had a chance against odds like this?

At a roaring sound overhead, Luke's head snapped up. It screamed through the sky above him, and his sadness turned to joy as the Millennium Falcon blasted its lasers into the rocky terrain near the black-clad man who was now much too close. Luke heard a shout of rage from Vader and ran for the Falcon, not looking back. It hovered just over the ground, lowering its ramp, and Luke jumped for it, fear and sweat pouring off of him like a cascade of sand.

Luke pulled himself aboard and the ramp raised to seal against the Falcon's hull, he felt a dark tickle at his mind. Before it could start to sway him in any way, the soft form of Leia came running out and hugged him tightly. All darkness dissipated in her warm embrace – it was all he could feel, all that mattered in that moment. He couldn't help but think, holding her, that this warm welcome was a stark contrast to her attitude toward him the previous night on the Pyramid.

As the Falcon broke away from Yavin 7's atmosphere, Luke shivered despite Leia's warm, soft arms enveloping him, holding him steady. He was still traumatized by the racing thoughts and panic from not long ago on the moon's surface, thoughts of death and his inadequacy, of fear and hopelessness.

"I am so glad you're okay," Leia whispered fervently. "Oh, Luke, something wonderful has happened!"

Before he could hear what wonderful thing she meant, Luke passed out against her, all fears and dark thoughts slipping and fading away. Leia's comforting warmth brought Luke into a peaceful state like he rarely felt. For this moment, he was safe.

* * *

Vader seethed with hatred and anger. How had that blasted Force-sensitive whelp staged such a gloriously inept escape? How had that bucket of rusty bolts smuggler's spacecraft deprived of him of a victory for the second time? It was unacceptable that someone as powerful as he could fail such an easy mission. Vader loudly screamed through his vocoder into the heavens, releasing all of his anger.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a droid's landing-ball rolling toward the ship a couple dozen yards away. Vader's rage boiled over until it filled his mind and vision, white-hot, incandescent. He pulled out his lightsaber and took a running leap through the air, slashing down on the droid. Its bubble exploded with a loud pop and squeals of mechanical fear rang out as his saber melted through the astromech. Vader took absolute pleasure in the destruction of this pathetic pile of wires, as each circuit burned up and was destroyed.

Despite this initial catharsis, Vader's wrath was not yet spent, and the ground quivered with the force of his anger. His gaze lit upon the X-wing that belonged to the wretched pilot on the ridge above him. He leapt once more into the air and swept his blade across its hull. For an unknown amount of time, Vader focused his anger laser-like into the utter destruction of the small ship, his anger flowing through him unobstructed, until all that was left was scrap.

Eventually, a Imperial shuttle landed on the moon and a Captain stepped out.

"Lord Vader, sir. We are here to escort you back to your ship as you requested."

The man gave only a small glance at the large hunk of metal and parts that lay decimated before him. Vader stormed past him, boarding the shuttle wordlessly. There would be hell to pay. He would have the life of that Force sensitive Rebel brat in the yellow jacket. No one made him look this much of a fool and lived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to Strawberry_Champagne, my incredible editor.
> 
> I am so sorry for being a tease, y'all can't expect me to run face first into the whump in chapter 3 right? Well maybe...
> 
> Are you enjoying reading?  
> Please comment and let me know your thoughts!!
> 
> Ps. Check out this art I did based on this chapter!  
> https://www.instagram.com/p/CGrT-YGLeE8/igshid=1ts8i3xmlf26
> 
> Chapter title based on  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/70AMsxKGo17uVepDtcTAUL?si=Vd4RCWJ_RhmIGqZ-UxeITg


	4. Make Me Wanna Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exhaustion and Melancholy lead to strange mixes in the lives of our favorite OT Trio, tensions get a tad soapy.

The evacuation had been harsh, grueling, mired with panic and desperation. They had no time to gather all of their equipment, as it had been about destroying data and saving lives. It had been exhausting for all involved. Leia lay in the crew bunk on the Falcon and her eyes ached, the hum of the hyperdrive engine lulling her to sleep. In that moment, she knew that it was safe to sleep until the Falcon dropped orbit over Eriadu. She let rest take her, but in her sleep she was taken by dreams.

_ A blur of stars around her dropped to reveal… nothing? The ship was blanketed in a dark mist of swirling nothingness. It felt so cold. So forlorn. There should be stars, there should be light. Where had the light gone? Closing her eyes, Leia drew her breath in and opened them again to see. There, in the distance. A glowing mass. Three stars orbiting around one another in a cosmic dance. It was unlike anything she had ever seen. Were there  _ trinary _ star systems? She tried to think on her studies and travels, but the dancing lights were starting to change before her. One grew dark, its light shifting to a reddish hue as it seemed to be growing, its mass threatening to overtake the smaller stars which now orbited it like moons. Chasing one another, escaping from the tendrils of flame bursting out of the red giant, one such flame caught one of the smaller ones that began to implode and join the mass of the large. They both were being swallowed up in a black hole as they collided, energy racing out. Leia reached her hand out and shouted.  _

_ “Noooooo!” _

Leia woke to find herself drenched in a cold sweat that made her lightweight blouse cling to her skin. As her eyes opened and she re-oriented herself, Leia was alarmed to find someone standing near her bunk, almost looming over her, something like vague concern knitting his brow. She sat up right away, clutching her blankets to her chest, wildly uncomfortable with the idea of Han Solo watching her sleep. 

“What are you doing in here? Can’t a girl get some sleep in peace?” Leia snapped at him, throat dry and scratchy. 

Han took a step back, his hands raising defensively. 

“Don’t get too snippy with me, princess. You were yelling and I wanted to make sure your worshipfulness was okay. Give me a  _ little  _ credit here.” 

Leia calmed a bit at his explanation, but still took issue with his tone. 

“Han, I don’t know what you  _ think _ you’re doing, but coming into my room uninvited while I sleep is completely unprofessional. And as you’ve very firmly stated, you are only in this for the money. You can’t blame me for distrusting your motives.”

Han smirked, leaning one arm against the frame of her bunk, and Leia told herself that this stance did not affect her in the least, thank you very much.

“What’s a guy gotta do to earn your trust, help blow up a Death Star? Help a princess and her boyfriend escape Darth Vader and his Star Destroyer? A little gratitude would be nice.”

Leia sighed, realizing she was letting her frustrations out on someone who was actually trying to help. 

“I am sorry Han, it’s only… wait.  _ Boyfriend _ ? Luke isn’t my boyfriend,” she protested. Where had he gotten a laser-brained idea like that?

Han chuckled, shaking his head ruefully.

“I sure don’t see you holding me in a lover’s embrace like you did with him a few hours ago, when you risked all our necks to save everyone’s favorite flyboy hero,” he snarked back.

“I… that wasn’t… oh I don’t know, Han. I just had this sense that Luke needed me in that moment.” Leia looked at Han directly, almost challenging. “And what if he  _ was _ my boyfriend? Why would you care about that?” 

If she was not lying to herself, the smuggler was physically much more her type. His soulful brown eyes held so much pain, and yet he was always making jokes. She envied him, in a way. Because he wasn’t expected to lead like she was, Han was free to feel things deeply, free to be angry, free to be sad, even if he hid that sadness behind a stupid joke. Perhaps she could enjoy a moment with him. Surely he would not… be opposed. Leia got to her feet, stood there bracketed by his leaning arms.

“Jealous?” she asked, her own dark eyes meeting his.

Han scoffed.

“Me? Jealous? Of Luke? Never! I’m just looking out for the kid. Wouldn’t want him get his pretty little heart broken.”

Han raised a hand to her elbow then and pulled her close, whispering in her ear. 

“Besides, maybe you should be the one who’s jealous! Luke and I got reeeal close and cuddly last night in my bunk, since  _ someone _ wanted an entire room to herself.” 

Leia was taken aback. Luke and Han? Could they have…? Oh, Sith-forsaken hells, was she on a ship full of gay men? It only made sense. She had always gotten along best with the queer men in her life. 

“Of course I’m not jealous. I wouldn’t dream of standing in the way of a space pirate and his farmer twink.” 

Leia yanked her arm away from him in frustration at her earlier thoughts. Why had she thought this was something she could have for herself, for even a moment? Of course this how it would end up.

As Leia turned away, Han pulled her close again out of nowhere and kissed her. Not a soft kiss either, it was warm and full and felt like no kiss she had ever experienced with a man. She felt a need stir inside her and she returned his kiss vigorously. Maybe this could make her forget all the heartache of the last few days. Even for just a few minutes.

It took every ounce of her restraint to not push further into more – she wanted him to take her there, to make her forget everything. To let her body sing in any way other than pain. 

Han pulled out of the kiss first and smiled widely at her.

“See? Nothing to be jealous of. You kiss almost as well as Luke.” 

Han winked and walked out of the cabin, leaving Leia in a daze of confusion, lust and (most of all) annoyance.

She gathered herself and chased after him, shouting. “Why you no good, half-witted, scruffy looking…. NERFHERDER!” 

Han turned quickly and stalked towards Leia until she was backed up against the corridor. He pressed a hand against the wall and looked down at her with eyes full of… was that lust? Anger? Frustration? 

“I ain’t scruffy looking, Princess, and nerfherders happen to be great kissers. Like Luke.”

That was when Luke himself walked out of the other cabin, wearing only a pair of Han’s pants. He was in the middle of yawning and stretching, but stopped as he saw Han and Leia. 

“Oh… um… am I interrupting something? I heard my name.” 

Leia rolled her eyes and pushed past Han, making sure her shoulder bumped a little too hard into him as she did so. He said “ _ hey _ ” half-heartedly, which she ignored.

“Han here was just telling me how great you are. Do you mind if I find out for myself, Luke?” 

She looked over her shoulder and saw Han turning a little green. Perfect.

“Um. I mean, I’m okay at a lot of things, but sure. What are we doing? Target practice?” Luke said, starting to look excited.

Leia shook her head. “Oh, no, nothing so military. I have something in mind that’s a little more… personal.” 

She crossed the corridor and placed her hands on Luke’s cheeks, kissing him firmly. To her great surprise, Luke immediately jumped away from her.

“Wow, Leia. What?” Luke looked between her and Han, a blush blooming across his face. “Umm, I’m really sorry. You’re beautiful,  _ real  _ beautiful, but um…” He trailed off, clearly uncomfortable and flustered.

Han walked over and threw an arm around Luke’s shoulders and grinned at Leia 

“What the kid’s trying to say, Princess, is that he swings in other ways. He happens to  _ like _ the scruffy ones. Don’t ya?”

Luke threw Han’s arm off, spun around and glowered at him. 

“I told you that in confidence, Han! Why did you have to… you didn’t have to…” Luke sputtered and ran out of the main area into the back hold. Leia saw tears starting to flow down his tanned cheeks as he went. 

Suddenly, Leia was irate. How could Han do this to her and Luke? On second thought, how could  _ she _ have done this to Luke? Guilt started to spread through her, the pain of it overwhelming her. She had broken the boy’s trust, as had Han. How could they have been so careless? 

“Han!” Leia shouted, her frustration at its peak. She was so angry, and that awful man had no clue what he had released in her. She hated anger this intense, it ruined her ability to think. She clenched her fists so hard her nails dug into her palms. Blood dripped down from one of them as she tried to control her rage, but it was too much. Everyone was trying to make a fool of her, and nothing was going as planned. The world darkened around her as she let out a piercing scream of rage. She let every ounce of her pain and frustration out with that scream. Enough. The anger flowed from her as she slammed her eyes shut and just let herself  _ feel _ all the pain at once. Everything was a deep crimson red. She had nothing. Nothing left but anger. 

As Leia lost herself to this surge of emotion, two large, furry arms wrapped around her. The Wookiee’s firm grasp held her close to him in a comforting yet controlling manner. It knocked Leia out of her enraged state. As she came back to herself, she noticed Han had slid down against the wall, seated with arms around his knees. When did he get down there? Why were all the items in the room thrown against the wall? Leia was shell-shocked in Chewbacca’s arms and Han was staring at her like he had seen a monster.

* * *

Luke was feeling incredibly upset. He had told Han he was gay the night before, had cried in the older man’s arms just like he use to cry in Biggs’ arms when things got to be too much. It had felt comforting to fall asleep beside him. To know that he wasn’t alone and someone was there for him, if only just for a single night. Yet Han had not kept his secret even a day, and Leia had kissed him.  _ Why _ ? Luke could swear he had never led her on. Maybe it was because he could sense her. Maybe she somehow felt that, too, and thought their strange connection to one another was romantic? Either way, it had been unexpected and unwelcome, and he felt violated. He needed to set some boundaries with these new friends, and fast. 

Luke was moping and feeling sorry for himself when a loud scream pierced him to the very core, like a dark arrow was streaking through him, like his soul was being torn apart. Fear, anger and guilt were projected so hard that they made him feel sick. Luke threw his arms over his head and started muttering schematic readouts for his old T-16, trying to block himself from these awful feelings. It was like the anger was trying to wash all of him away. To burn the galaxy up and leave nothing in its wake. It came in wave after wave, buffeting him and then… it just stopped. 

Something was wrong. Luke got up, staggering a bit from the weight of the misery welled inside him. Something was obviously wrong with Leia, far worse than he had realized.

* * *

In the far distance many light years away, Vader stood on the bridge of the Executor and smiled to himself as he felt the waves of anger wash over him from far, far away. The boy was so close to turning. He would be so easily turned. Vader basked in that anger like any other would bask in the sunlight on a cold day. 

This would, indeed, be all too easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more thank you to Strawberry_Champagne for helping me edit this story!
> 
> The sass of the particular chapter is very strongly correlated with reading “The Truth” by Seasider.
> 
> I really enjoy writing melodrama and I hope you enjoyed reading it!! 
> 
> Comment if you are able, I do love a comment ;)
> 
> P.S the title of this chapter is from “Make me Wanna Die by Paramore”


	5. Little Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia has feelings  
> Vader has feelings too

Leia dug through the drawers in her parents’ bedroom, looking for any clothing that would fit her. She stopped, hands stilling, when she found one of her mother’s favorite sweaters. It  _ smelled _ like her – a lingering perfume on the knitted fabric. Tears welled in Leia’s eyes as she walked across the room and lay on her parents’ bed, burying her face in the sweater. The familiar scent of Alderaanian flowers and spice took her back to her childhood. 

The industrial planet of Eriadu was known for droid factories and computer technology, and young Leia Organa was there with her parents for one of their special holidays away from their home planet. Leia had always loved these trips. It was often just her and her parents in their estate here, spending quality time together. They didn’t go outside much, as the smog and pollution made the air almost toxic at times, and occasionally there were even vast storms of polluted air keeping all residents locked in their homes. Her mom would braid her hair by  _ herself _ , as they didn’t bring the maids and nannies that usually looked after these things. Her father would tell her tales of General Kenobi and his Jedi friends during the Clone Wars. It wasn’t as pretty as their lodgings where they stayed in the Imperial Centre or Naboo, but it was Leia’s favorite because it was where she got to spend the most time with her parents. Her mom always told her that even queens need to take breaks for themselves.

It was like they were a normal family, not a special family. Here she was not Princess Leia, her mother told her. Here she was Sera Panama, and here was also where Auntie Sabé often came to see them! Auntie Sabé was her  _ other  _ mother’s best friend – the one who had died when she was very, very little. Much to Leia’s father’s chagrin, Auntie Sabé taught her how to use a blaster rifle, and how to make herself look like someone else. Leia missed her – she had not seen Sabé in many moons, and wondered where the feisty Nabooan lady had gone. She would have loved to recruit her into the Rebellion, felt she would make an excellent addition.

Leia’s mind drifted to her days on this planet. They had all been when she was quite young, before she had joined the Junior Senate. She cringed as she thought about that last visit and the mistakes she had made. 

Leia had been only eight years old, and she and her friend Jana had been playing together. Jana was a very wealthy girl and Leia felt right at home running in the halls of her family’s estate. Jana was six at that time and the two of them were playing Clone vs Droid. Leia was playing the clone this time, her favorite role. Hiding behind a large pillar which held a large vase, Leia was watching her friend marching around pretending to be a droid. She held her arms stiff like a droid and beeped whenever she looked behind the other pillars to find Leia not there. 

“Who are you and  _ why _ are you in our collector’s hall?” 

Leia was so startled when she heard the older woman speak behind her that she jumped back and hit the pillar behind her. The large pillar fell over and with a loud  _ crash _ the vase sitting atop it shattered into a million pieces. 

The older girl grabbed Leia by the braid and dragged her to her feet. Leia remember howling in pain at the girl’s tight grip. 

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU IMPOTENT LITTLE URCHIN? You should be shipped off to the spice mines for this offense! I will have my father force yours to be a stormtrooper. Do you  _ know _ what you just broke? That is a priceless heirloom of house Tarkin.” The dark eyes of the older sister of her friend pierced into Leia.

Leia felt herself panic. 

“You can’t have my dad! I won’t let you, you…. BIG BULLY! Now let me go!” she screamed at the much older girl. Her leg kicked out and caught the girl in the chest as she squirmed to get her hair free. The girl yelped in pain at Leia’s thrashing arms and legs, releasing Leia and allowing her to escape. She ran straight home.

Jana came to her and told her the next day that her sister Elian had gotten in trouble that day for breaking the vase. Jana had not been willing to tell her parents that Sera was over and didn’t want to admit to having played in their treasure hall. Elian had apparently been scolded heavily and punished for her ‘transgressions.’ Jana admitted with embarrassment that when they were very disobedient, their daddy had them spanked by a bot.

Leia quickly stepped out of the memory and rolled over onto her back in the bed, flopping her arm over her face. She really had been so stupid back then and now felt like that she had made very little improvement since. Guilt ravaged her heart as she thought about how Luke and Han had left her on Eriadu with awkward looks between them from her outburst. Little conversation had been shared between them as Han and Chewie quickly loaded the rest of the money she owed them onto the Falcon. 

Luke had stayed on the ship, sulking. And really, who was to blame him? He was so young and Leia had not even considered his feelings. She had taken what she wanted from him out of petty jealousy without even considering if it was something he was comfortable with. Without even asking if he wanted to kiss her, too. She had assumed that like all men in the rebellion, he wanted to kiss Princess Leia Organa. Her ego was too big, and now her heart was too hurt. She needed this time alone to sort out her feelings. No wonder her parents enjoyed coming to this estate, to have some time away from it all.

Although there was not much to see or do on Eriadu, especially with the polluted industrial air, it was a very safe world. Everyone worked their jobs in peace, as no pirates dared to disrupt the trade of Grand Moff Tarkin’s home world. _ Tarkin _ . Leia loathed the man so much! He had seemed to take delight in her family’s erasure from history. It was disgustingly ironic that all they had left was their secret holdings on Eriadu. Of course this was the last vestige of her family. It had been a secret home to them, a secret getaway. For where better to hide from the atrocities of the Empire than right under the nose of the Grand Moff of the Outer Rim. On his home planet.

Leia sat up from the bed and started to collect more things. She slipped her mother’s sweater on, grabbed one of Bail’s scarves. Opening another drawer, Leia noticed a small box with a crystal in it. The crystal seemed to hum. What was this? She had never seen such a thing before. It was small, but somehow felt larger to her than any other gem or crystal she had ever seen. Underneath it was a soft pastel blue piece of cloth. It was silk of the highest quality, and felt warm under her hand. Written in Aurebesh, it said the following:

_ To Leia:  _

_ Your father was like a brother to me and you will always be close to my heart. If you ever find yourself in desperate need, this will guide your way. Always remember you are loved. _

_ \- Snips  _

_ P.S. If a guy in black harasses, you throw sand at him. He hates sand. _

Many questions swirled in Leia’s mind. Who was Snips? How had Bail known them? Were they referring to Darth Vader when they spoke of a man in black? And why was this crystal so important? 

* * *

Darth Vader had yet to be contacted by his master. This was worrisome. His master must have been furious with him for allowing the Death Star’s destruction. That damned pilot had ruined…  _ everything _ . Would his master never see how much he did for him? He expected Vader to run the galaxy with an iron fist, but then would be so disappointed in him as to ignore him for days if he made a mistake. It was infuriating. Vader curled his hand into a fist as he thought about the countless failures he had suffered in the past week. The Rebels were far too hasty in their retreat – he would make sure they regretted it. 

The panel on the bottom of his holoprojector beeped. Someone was trying to contact him. He hoped it was not a lowlife lord reaching out to him to let him know they knew of his failure to capture even a single rebel vessel over Yavin. The pathetic weak-minded fools loved to rub in any failure he might have. The voice of his favorite officer – if one could have a favorite – Captain Piett spoke over the comm to him.

“Lord Vader, we are getting communications from Captain Elian Zahra Tarkin. She seeks to have a holo audience with you.” 

“Put her on. I will handle her communication, and then I expect a full briefing as to why she has my personal holo data number afterward.” 

The comm clicked off and the image of a very angular and harsh-faced young lady appeared before Vader. She was at attention waiting for his response as he looked her over as if she were a recording rather than a live projection. Finally, he deemed to acknowledge her. 

“Captain Zahra, for what reason am I graced with your presence?” Vader’s voice dripped with a lack of sincerity as he spoke.

A slight flame flickered in the young women’s eyes at the tone of his words, but beyond that she showed no reactions to his vocal jab. “Lord Vader, the Emperor wishes for me to congratulate you,” she said sharply, not moving even an eyebrow.

Vader froze. Congratulate? Why would his master wish to  _ congratulate _ him? He had just suffered two major defeats and blows to the pride of the Imperial Navy. 

"I of course will accept the Emperor’s gratitude with utter respect and strive to further please him,” Vader hissed. “For what do I owe such a great honor?”

“Why, for being the least successful Sith Lord in generations, my young apprentice!” Vader heard his master’s voice from behind this woman. He quickly dropped to a knee before his master, knowing better than to further compound his ire. He felt fear trickle through him, wondering what game his master was playing at having this… this  _ woman _ contact him instead of doing it himself. “As of now Lord Vader, you will be serving under the jurisdiction of Grand Moff Tarkin.”

Vader froze, confusion settling through him through the Force. 

“Tarkin? Tarkin is lost with the rest of his men upon his own insecure weapon.”

The Emperor’s face appeared before him then, a malicious smirk spreading across his face. 

“Oh no, my boy. Grand Moff Tarkin is here, standing before me.”

Vader realized with horror that he meant Elian and without thinking sputtered, “I would sooner marry my firstborn child to a spawn of Tarkin, than see one take his place.” 

There was a cackling laugh from across the line, a sound that shook Vader every time he heard it, as the Emperor only laughed at the most dire and horrifying things. 

“If you ever have children, Vader, I will keep you to your word,” the old man said and Vader felt the Force move around him uneasily like a great change had been made in the future. But Vader shook that unwanted feeling off. Of course it felt wrong to him. His master was letting a barely out of diapers girl be a  _ Moff _ ?

“You will be reporting to her from now on,” his master continued. “Treat her as an extension of my arm or you will be punished in a more formidable manner, my apprentice.” 

The holo switched back to the young lady who held no mirth or joy in the smile she shot his way. 

When Vader finished the communication and switched off the holoprojector, he found some solace at last. But as he returned to his work, the shadows of the family that had never come to be danced in his mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Strawberry_Champaign for your continued help as my editor and beta tester!
> 
> Next chapter more action I promise.
> 
> Chapter name based on https://open.spotify.com/track/4N8YnMrpHsxkZzvAeV5iCY?si=O_5D2iHCSpKfPbAZOr1vPQ


	6. I’ll Never Love Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke’s Return to Tatooine

The way things had ended with Leia felt like a shadow looming in the back of Luke’s mind. She had gotten off the Falcon with Chewbacca incredibly quickly when they had arrived at Eriadu, insisting that he and Han stay with the ship. Chewie returned within the hour, burdened with a large bag of credit chips. He growled something that Luke couldn’t understand at the smuggler, prompting an exaggerated eyeroll from Han. He turned to Luke and squeezed his shoulder.

“Come on kid, we’ve got a debt to pay on Tatooine. You can come with us.” 

Luke had tried to protest, wondering where Leia was, insisting they should not leave without her. Han only shook his head at Luke’s insistence and closed the Falcon’s ramp behind them. 

They were in hyperspace now and Luke was sitting in the lounge feeling awkward, knees tucked up under his chin. Maybe he should have not made a big deal about Leia kissing him. It was obviously just a moment of weakness, wanting the comfort of his lips, the embrace of someone familiar. His rejection had set off a chain reaction of emotion in her that now left him feeling empty. Like he had lost something important. He had felt the connection between them close off at that moment and the regret welled up inside him like a sandstorm. 

Han walked in and sat next to him, clearly trying to coax Luke out of his sulking. 

“Look, it’s my fault,” he said. “I shouldn’t have egged her on that way. She said she just needs some time alone to process – she’s going through a lot too, you know?”

Han’s firm, masculine hand moved to Luke’s back in a comforting gesture, soothingly stroking his aching muscles. 

Luke sighed. The melancholy of everything that was happening was getting to him. He leaned into Han, his head falling against his shoulder. Han was older, like Biggs. He put on this air of not caring about people, but Luke knew better. He knew Han was soft and loving inside – only a rough, chaotic life had led him down this path he was on. Luke figured that in another life Han would be a family man, with kids by now and a partner who loved him. Turning, he looked Han in the eyes, searching them to see if there was more there than he thought. But Han looked away at the contact, so Luke spoke up. 

“It’s not your fault, Han. It’s just what happened. We all need each other right now, you know? I should have seen what she needed. I should have put my fears aside and been there for her.” 

Han rolled his eyes at Luke and stood up. 

“Kid, you can’t save everyone. Sometimes they have to save themselves. Besides, that girl had only one thing on her mind at that moment and it sure as hell wasn’t to get a big old dose of Luke Skywalker.” He winked. 

Luke blushed at the implication and looked away. 

“Maybe not. But you didn’t have to tell her about… us… you know? It’s not like we actually did anything. I don’t even think she cared about me that way; I think she wanted you. Do you really think a princess and a guy like me…”

Han butted in. “No, kid. I don’t think so at all. Cause it’s going to be a princess and a guy like me.” He pointed a thumb at his chest, then seemed to consider for a moment. “Though I guess it could be a Princess, a guy like me and a guy like you if you really wanted,” he said, implying something Luke was sure he wanted no part in. He waved Han off. 

“No! No, that’s perfectly fine, Han. You can have the Princess if she wants you. She isn’t anyone’s _property_ , anyway.”

Growling laughter drifted over from the cockpit, and they both turned and glowered in Chewbacca’s direction.

“Yeah, laugh it up,” Han groused loudly. That only seemed to make the Wookiee laugh harder.

* * *

When they came out of hyperspace over Tatooine, Luke felt a tingle at the back of his neck, almost like the stretches of a tendril of darkness wrapping itself around him, like he had felt at Yavin. He sat back in his chair heavily, staring out the viewport and wondering why this was hitting him now.

“Looks like our Imperial friends didn’t stick around,” Han stated as he switched and pushed various things on the dashboard. “I’ll contact Jabba directly and get permission to land near his palace.” 

Luke was transfixed by the image of the planet below. He had spent most of his life on that pile of dust. It felt like just yesterday that he had been with Obi-Wan running away from it, yet here he was once more. He had still only been a few other places. Luke’s stomach tied in knots as he realized that there was nothing left for him here. He needed to find the Darklighters, he supposed, to let them know that their son was gone. He knew they would be none too pleased to see him, but it was important they know that Biggs had died a hero. 

“Han, can you drop me off at Anchorhead? I need to deal with some family business, before I say goodbye to this dump forever.” 

Han gave him a look, but Luke knew he wasn’t going to fight him on this. 

“You sure about this? We could go after I go see Jabba, I’m sure it will be okay to wait.” But Luke knew if he didn’t go now, he might as well never.

“I’m sure. Please, just drop me off. I’ll have my comm, and we can meet back up after. Okay?” 

Han shrugged and veered the Falcon in that direction. Luke stared at all the empty land, spots of striped rock and red dirt speckling an otherwise beige surface of nothing. 

* * *

Alone once more, Luke looked around Anchorhead, finally feeling like he was able to breathe. He saw Tosche Station, the power and repair station where he and the other kids would always hang out. There was no reason to head there. Fixer and the gang never liked Luke, and he didn’t want to run into them and be mocked, today or any day. He wouldn’t miss it here, but he took a mental picture anyway. He wanted to remember everything he was, where he came from, so he could revel in everything he would be. He was a pilot; he was going to enlist in the Rebellion officially as soon as they got back to the fleet. It was everything he dreamed, to be like his father out among the stars, to be a hero on a starship. The small dreams he had as a boy felt so far away. So did his old life here on Tatooine.

Luke tried to not dwell too much on Beru and Owen – they had raised him, been his everything growing up. Their deaths would always haunt him, but he knew he was taking action to honor their death. He had not let their deaths be in vain! He had destroyed the weapon that had indirectly caused their deaths with his own hands. Luke had avenged them – and to him, that was like a completion of their story. He was still devastated, of course, but he would process those feelings later.

Biggs was another story. Oh, Biggs. He had given Luke an example of unconditional love and acceptance, had taught him about his own body’s needs as a young man, and had shown him that even a boy from an outer planet could escape the system and join a greater cause. He would be forever missed. Walking through these streets, Luke dreamed of the days he had spent smiling and laughing with his now-dead love, the way they had always been two stars of light together wherever they had gone. He doubted anyone in his life would ever make him feel so full, so real.

Luke eventually made his way towards the Darklighter homestead. He had stalled enough – he needed to do this. It was what Biggs would have wanted. The Darklighters were a more wealthy family, living much closer to the main town of Anchorhead than the Lars family had, so it didn’t take Luke more than an hour to walk through town and into its outskirts to arrive at their home, the suns beating down overhead. He had only been gone less than a week, but it felt like a lifetime. The sands of Tatooine always changed the landscape. They shifted and swayed like moods, like tides, like the things he had seen on holoshows called “oceans”. But he knew the way to the Biggs like the back of his hand. 

Memories flashed in his head of running excitedly with Biggs, playing games on this very stretch of sand. The homestead loomed in the distance, and more distant memories surfaced. Lying on the warm sands right after second sunset before it grew too cold, the stars expanding out before them. Luke would rest his head on his boyfriend's chest, feel the beat of his heart under his ear, while Biggs talked about his dreams of being a pilot, of changing the world. Luke could almost smell the musky, spicy scent of his cologne, almost taste the Toydarian whiskey they had snuck outside. His chest constricted in pain, loss, and sorrow at these deeply cherished memories. But he kept walking under the bright suns.

When Luke finally arrived at the front of the homestead, he saw the dark-haired form of Bigg’s mother, turned slightly away from him with her head down. “Mrs. Darklighter!” he called out. On Tatooine, sneaking up on someone would often lead to a blaster bolt in your chest, so the locals made a habit of always calling out upon seeing one another. The careworn face that held Bigg’s eyes looked up at him in shock and surprise.

“Luke? Luke Skywalker, is that you? By the twin suns, boy! We thought you were lost when… well, never mind.” She collected herself up from the maintenance project she was working on, wiping her hands on her apron. “Please, please come inside. Oh, I am so glad to see you. Are you okay?”

They walked into the lowered kitchen and she nodded to a seat – the seat Luke always use to sit in, next to Biggs, when he had meals at his family homestead. Its worn surface felt familiar, the curves well-worn to fit his shape from many uses. He felt his body relax a bit into the first feeling of home he had felt in a long time.

Yes, ma’am. I’m fine,” he said, playing with the sleeves of her son’s jacket, wondering how he could tell her the truth that must be told. 

Biggs’ mother turned to him holding a glass of blue milk, but when she really seemed to notice what he was wearing, she paled noticeably. She sat down in her own seat suddenly and looked like she had seen a ghost, but still slid Luke the glass. 

“His jacket. Oh Luke, he never would take that thing off. Did you find my son? Is he okay? No one has heard of him since...” she trailed off. 

Luke knew what she was implying. Biggs had disappeared during his time at the Imperial Academy, before his graduation even. Everyone had assumed he had deserted. Everyone knew the penalty for desertion. No deserter was heard from by their families again.

Sorrow filled Luke’s heart as he looked her in the eyes. This was more painful than he could have imagined. Sharing such sadness with someone who was almost like a mother to him. When times had been hard for the Lars family, she had always snuck Luke an extra water pack to take home. Her family had always been better off than his, but they had always been so generous with them. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, eyes welling with tears. “I am so sorry, Mira.”

She was shaking her head in denial at his words. He knew she didn’t want to hear this.

“Biggs… Biggs is gone.” Luke swallowed hard. Admitting it to her was like the final grain of sand that broke the dune. The tears he had been trying so hard to hold back burst out. He cried there at her table as he had never cried before, and he was not alone for she cried with him. It was as though the entire universe was crying out with Luke’s sadness as the dam of sorrow was released. 

Somewhere inside that time of release and sadness, Mira got up from her seat, her arms wrapped around Luke, Luke’s arms wrapped around her. She was rocking him back and forth to comfort him as a mother might comfort a child, and the familial warmth of her affection made Luke think for a moment of Leia. But he quickly changed the memory to that of Beru, and his sobbing was increased anew. 

No other words were needed. Mira must have known about the Lars farm because as she held him, she cried softly into Luke’s blond hair. 

“Oh Luke, I am so sorry. My sweet little Luke. You must feel so alone, to lose your family and your fiancée in so close a time.”

Luke’s mind froze for a moment. Fiancée? Did Mira know of plans that Biggs had that he did not? He was wearing a yellow jacket that belonged to the older man. And yellow was the color of betrothal… Wait, did Biggs save up for this jacket for him? Was he planning to ask Luke to be his husband before he left – and when Luke had decided to not join him at the Academy that season, he didn’t ask? Would he have asked if he had survived the battle of Yavin? Luke’s mind raced, but he decided that was a reality he could live with believing in, so his heart accepted it.

“I will fight for them, Mira. They won’t have died in vain – I will fight for our family's memories. I promise you.” 

“Oh, my dear, you don’t have to fight for them. You can stay here, take on the name Darklighter. From now on we can count you as our son – you’re already like a son to us. Please. It’s what Biggs would have wanted.” 

Warmth spread through Luke at those words. He would always be a Skywalker, would always honor his family of blood, but to have a family of his lover’s? A family waiting for him here – it was an offer he could not turn down. He hugged Mira tighter.

“Nothing would make me happier than that. Can I call you Mom?”

“Only if I can call you son!” 

* * *

Across the galaxy, no soul that could feel the Force could not feel the supernova of happiness in Luke’s heart. It was like a galactic nuclear bomb of fulfillment piercing the darkest of shields, and the hope of a Skywalker turned Darklighter was like a grenade upon them. In that instant, every dark head was turning and taking notice.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to my beta [Strawberry_Champagne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawberry_Champagne/pseuds/Strawberry_Champagne)
> 
> Thank you also to the SW Creatives and Father for helping continue to encourage me.
> 
> I cried while writing this chapter. So I hope it hurt for you as much as it did me.
> 
> The title song for THIS chapter is “I’ll Never Love Again” by Lady Gaga


	7. Complications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life as Luke Darklighter  
> Enter Boba Fett  
> Luke Gets sassy
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> Whump, Violence, and Death

Luke’s time with the Darklighters had been the refresh he needed. They lightened his soul, freeing him from so much of the sorrow he had been entrenched in. His new parents and little sister were people he had known his entire life, so of course they brought him comfort. Part of him wanted to stay, to help them build back up their lives after all the sorrow they all were experiencing had faded into a hazy dream of the past. But the galaxy needed him – he needed to become a Jedi to face the evil that had risen above all. The good could not be complacent if this was to change. 

He lay on Biggs’ bed. It felt so lonely to lie among the soft navy blue sheets alone, sheets that still carried his scent, enveloping him like a blanket as his mind floated from memory to memory. He would carry on his father’s legacy and Biggs’ name. He would honor the warriors against evil who had come before him and inspired him now. Curious, he shifted through the drawer next to the older man’s bed to see what was there. Inside he mainly found the things one could expect. A bottle of lotion, various baubles from their childhood adventures, even a friendship bracelet Luke had woven as a child. At the very bottom of the drawer, he found a stack of letters. 

Biggs had addressed each letter to a different person. Mira. Sera. Windy. These were all people that Luke had expected. His hand fell onto a letter marked “Wedge” and he frowned. Why would Biggs have written to Wedge of all people? He was just a colleague in the Rebellion, wasn’t he? The temptation to open this letter crept through Luke’s brain as he stared at how beautifully Biggs had written the name of his fellow pilot, much less quickly scrawled than the other names. But the decision to be an honest widower to Biggs won out. Luke shoved the letter in his coat pocket. He was so disappointed when he didn’t find one addressed to him, as he would have cherished having a letter from Biggs to remember him by like these others did. Oh well, at least he had this friendship bracelet. It was better than nothing. 

The next day came far too fast. Luke woke up after the most restful sleep he had experienced in what felt like months, though really it had only been about a week. A week ago, he had been working on moisture farming equipment, dreaming of a life in the stars of honor and glory. Yet here he was, about to join the Rebel Alliance for real, enlisting in a battle that they had to win, to fight for everyone who he loved who had still been alive just a handful of days ago. To fight for people he had just met and was now learning to love. To fight for the father he had never met but still loved. Why would anyone fight for anything besides the people they loved? Luke couldn’t imagine any other reason worth putting up with all the pain that came with battle. 

Rolling off of Bigg’s old bed – Luke’s new bed – he headed for the door. Mira always had a pot of caf brewing in the morning, with blue milk to add to make it sweet and creamy. Luke was ready – he had not had the drink in over a week and it was his favorite. Pulling on his boots, tying on his friendship bracelet, and throwing Biggs’ yellow jacket over his shoulder, he headed out into the living area. Yet when the door opened, he didn’t smell any caf. This was very odd. Maybe they were out… 

The house felt quiet. Too quiet. Something in the back of Luke’s mind felt jammed, like it was trying to warn him? No, that couldn’t be true. He was at the Darklighter homestead and everything was fine. Mira was probably just getting some extra well-deserved rest. 

He strode into the kitchen, humming a tune to himself, and opened the fridge to pull out some blue milk. No better way to start a day than with a glass of bantha milk. 

“Every day’s great with BB Milk,” he crooned to himself, an old holo-ad jingle from his childhood, when he felt a flash of fear in the back of his mind and the urge to jump to the right. Blue milk splashed all over him as a dart landed in a head of leafy veg in the cooler. “What the!” He shouted and spun around to face where the dart had come from.

A man held a blaster trained on him – he was wearing a full set of Mandalorian armor. Even desert rats like Luke knew about the amazing strength of Mandalorian armor. He wished with all his heart he had not left his blaster next to Biggs’ bed. 

Diving towards the table, Luke scrambled toward the door, staying low. He could hear his pursuer following him closely behind as he ran, and then he tripped over… over  _ Mira’s body _ . 

“No!!!” Luke shouted before he could stop himself. Blood was dripping from her forehead, carbon scoring surrounded it. A direct blaster shot. He scrambled backward from her body and this time, a dart hit him. He was too in shock at his new mother’s death to jump out of the way.

The dart sunk deep into his exposed throat. Whatever was inside it immediately started to work. It stung as it hit, but the stinging spread through his veins like fire. He knew whatever it was, he didn’t have much time; he was probably going to die. 

Luke fought the urge to fall into the pain, to fight it by relaxing so it hurt less. He grabbed for his comm that was set to dial to Han. It rang once and the growl of Chewie responded. 

“Che-w-i-eee. He-l-p. Mehhh,” Luke slurred as his tongue started feeling as heavy as his eyes. 

His hand slipped, and he dropped the comm of the floor as his body was no longer responding to his demands of it to move and to respond. It was like his brain was disconnected from his body. He saw the Mandalorian walking toward him and heard Chewbacca growling from the dropped comm, now sounding anxious. The last thing he saw before the world went dark was the heel of the armored man stamping down on the commlink.

* * *

The world came back slowly for Luke. He tried to move and pain lanced through his body. As his stiff, aching body came into focus more and more, the heavy weight of his eyelids slid back enough that he could start squinting them open. The world around him was grey like durasteel. He tried to move a hand to rub at his eyes to focus them more and a sharp shock shot through his body, jolting him into awareness with a yelp as he realized his wrists were restrained in shock binders. 

Looking around himself in a panic, the memories of what had happened slowly started processing in his weary mind. The Darklighters. Mira.  _ No _ . He refused to accept it.

No one was in sight. Luke was in a small grey cell of some kind, but why was he here? Why had he been taken and how had he been found? His head ached as he tried to piece out what happened. Whatever they had drugged him with sure had done a number on his thoughts. Focusing on his mind, he strained to remember who had taken him. His mind flashed to the Mandalorian armor, and he groaned loudly in frustration. Did he… have a bounty? Oh god, he thought, did the Empire know what he had done? Oh kriff, Leia had said this would happen. How did they find out who he was so quickly?

Well, no time but the present to find out what’s going on.

“Hey!” Luke shouted “Hey you! Get in here! I don’t appreciate this one bit. You’ve got the wrong guy!” 

Luke wondered if the cell was soundproof but kept yelling, hoping it would have some impact and get some attention.

“If you don’t get in here, I will set off this um… thermal detonator! Yeah! It’s right here in my pocket, you missed it. Your cell is going to be melted to fragments, along with me, too!” He kicked his legs against the door for emphasis. 

Luke really was scared. He had never been in binders before, no less stuck in a cell. His mind was spiraling a bit as he kicked the door. He remembered the helpless feeling he had felt just a few days before as he was tangled in his parachute. The impending sense of doom he had felt then was not quite so imminent, but it was surely upon him now. He had to get out of here! He started to breathe in uneasy breaths as the stress of the idea of being actually trapped came upon him. The walls seemed to get closer and closer when the door slid open in the middle of one of his many kicks.

The tall armored man stood before him, a small gun with a dart attached trained on him. Luke froze. 

“Took you long enough, sleemo! Isn’t transportation supposed to come with drink service? I’m parched!” he quipped, trying to cover his deep fear with the sort of attitude he felt Han would adopt. Han would know what to do in this situation. 

“Shut up, kid” was the only response the figure made. 

Luke felt the armor looked a little bit familiar as he responded. “Hey! I’m not a kid. Who are you and why did you kill my…” 

Before he could finish his sentence, a fist swiftly made contact with his stomach and knocked his words out of him along with his breath. Luke moaned and lurched at the sharp pain from the punch from the armored fist, which set off the shock binders on his wrists. He let out a quivering yelp. 

“I said, SHUT UP.” 

“You… really are a… terrible host” Luke complained through clenched teeth. A hand raised to slap him and Luke flinched back. The hand never landed.

“If you don’t want to be delivered in one piece, I would keep up this yammering,” growled the masculine voice behind the mask.

Luke didn’t really care right now about the threat and responded anyway. “You killed my family! Do you really think I am just going to sit here and be a good little quiet prisoner while you deliver me to some horrible fate worse than death?” He spit at the armored man. 

This time the fist contacted Luke’s left shoulder and it threw him back against the wall of the tiny cell. He hit his head hard enough to feel everything go black for a moment, escalated by a much longer jerk of his binders shocking his entire body. Luke convulsed in pain, his eyes stinging with tension as he tried to let out a scream, but even his vocal cords were frozen from the onslaught of electricity.

Opening his eyes again, he glared at the Mandalorian. “You know,” he wheezed, “you almost had me convinced you were Boba Fett. But no way would someone that notorious be so weak that he needs shock binders to accentuate his punches.” Luke had figured it out while convulsing in pain. This  _ was _ Boba Fett, and he was so over this. How did Boba even know who he was?

A gloved hand reached down and slammed Luke back up against the wall as the masked face got incredibly close to his and growled. “If I didn’t have orders to bring you in alive, Rebel, I would kill you right here. Be thankful Vader likes to have his prey alive.”

Luke shuddered at the name. Vader. Of course it was Vader. Luke remembered the dark waves of that presence too well, the way they wrapped around him with anger and aggression and malicious intent. “I think you got the wrong guy, Fett! I’m just a simple Darklighter moisture farmer, I ain’t no Rebel,” he said, trying to throw Fett off his scent. Hopefully this would work, he prayed to himself.

Fett grabbed Luke’s wrist and push them up again the wall and shook them. Another shock convulsed through Luke as he was slammed against the wall again.

“I–” Fett slammed him again, another shock spreading through his body as it seized up. 

“Told you–” Fett let go and repeated the slamming action before Luke could catch a breath and the seizing of his body started under the shock again.

“To SHUT UP!” A final slam followed by a knee to his groin completely tore Luke from reality. He was shaking in pain from the shocks and the harsh knee to his sensitive areas. His eyes rolled back in his head and he felt his brain starting to turn off from the intense pain, but as soon as it had started the shock once more ended. He slumped against the wall. 

Eyes lifting up to look at Fett, Luke smiled softly. He had bit his tongue during one of the shocks and he spit blood out before responding. “Guess I don’t learn, huh?”

With that, Fett spun and walked out of the cell, the door still open and came back with a large metal and rubber bar. “I have ways of shutting foolish boys up,” he snarled. 

Grabbing Luke by the jaw, he forcibly pushed the boy’s mouth open with a firm hand. Luke tried to fight, tried to keep his mouth closed, but he had no experience with this sort of treatment and before he knew it, the bit was thrust into his mouth and strapped tightly to the back of his head. The edges of his mouth burned from the feeling of being overstretched and he tried to talk around it but only muffled again the large protrusion in his mouth.

Fett stepped back and stood staring at Luke. Luke could swear the man was smirking at him from under that helmet. Luke narrowed his eyes in determined anger and frustration as drool slowly started to come out of his mouth and there was nothing he could do about it. He wished with all his heart he was strong enough in the Force to throw the man across the ship they were in like Leia had, but all he could do was sit there seething as Fett whirled around and walked away. The cell door slammed closed with a resounding metallic click as it locked from the outside.

Once more Luke found himself alone, now helpless to even call for help. He was trapped and being transported to the Empire to die – just like his Father, just like Ben, just like Biggs had at the hand of the murderous Jedi who had turned to darkness, Darth Vader. The utter helplessness of his situation welled up inside him and his tears fell when he heard a voice. 

_ Use the Force, Luke. Reach out with your feelings. Leia will hear you if you believe, Luke. _ The voice was old and rang with familiarity. 

_ Ben _ ?! Luke thought.  _ Ben, is that you? What’s going on? How come I can hear you in my head? _

There was no reply and Luke sighed around his gag. The line of drool was growing down his chin and starting to slowly drip in a line. He felt so humiliated and disgusted and helpless. The only thing to really do was try. 

_ Leia, _ he beseeched, imagining she could hear him across the galaxy, imagining the slight brunette being right in front of him.  _ Leia, hear me! This is Luke. Boba Fett has me. I don’t know how, but he has me. I was last in Anchorhead, but I don’t know where I am now. Leia! Leia, please hear me. Send for help, please. I’m not ready to die, Leia. _

Luke hoped with all his heart that she heard him. But what he did not know was that she wasn’t the only one listening in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to my Editor Strawberry_Champagne
> 
> I have a lot more for this story planned, BUT I am doing the Luke Vader Fic Exchange, and that is due Jan 9th. So with that this story is going on Hiatus until then.   
> Trust me I have the rest planned out and I plan to come back to writing it.


End file.
